Sunday, August 24, 2008

First Day of School = one sad mommy

For years, I knew it was coming. It loomed like a gray cloud in the back of my head. The first day of Kindergarten for my baby girl. I anticipated such joy at seeing her reach one of the biggest milestones in her mere five years of life with just a touch of mellowness on my end since she is the baby and the last to leave the nest. The day started off great, all the girls woke up minus crabbiness (musta been first day excitement times ten) and ready to eat a healthy breakfast and get on the bus. I took "first day of school" pics of all three of them seperately and together. The bus came, more excitement bubbled at the seams, and off they were.

I came in, sat down and had a Coke (my morning coffee) and a slice of toast. Checked email and then got ready to head in to school to meet them getting off of the bus. Took all three girls to their respective classrooms and got the "first day in my new classroom" shots. I met my sister hobbling on her crutches (dog bite, long story that I will post about later this week) and we walked down to Kindergarten hall. While passing Avery's classroom, I noticed a few mommy's in tears in the hallway and thought "hmmmm, okay" not really getting why they were teared up. I mean, this is supposed to be a happy time, right? I drove home thinking about those ladies and how that whole sadness just wasn't me. lol! Then, I picked up the mail and walked in the back door and I just kind of stood there in the kitchen. It hit baby is all grown up and here I am alone. Tears began to flow and the more I tried to stop them, the more forceful they came. She's my baby. I haven't been "alone" in ten years....some little person has always been here. I finally came to realize they weren't tears of weakness, they were proud and sad mommy tears. Happy and sad all together is normal right? Riiiiiiggggggghhhhhhhhhht........

Here are my happy thoughts as Avery starts Kindergarten:

I wish you a lifetime of learning. A love of words and numbers. A love of reading and physical education. I hope you run with the wind beneath your wings and I hope you fly to places you never imagined. I hope you make lifelong friends and learn that is is a priviledge to be a friend. Show your friends you love and respect them. Honor your teachers. Listen and obey them. They will nurture you with their love of teaching. Nurture them back with your love of learning. And, always remember, mommy loves you with all her heart.